The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

By Mark Twain

Page 0

...THE TRAGEDY OF PUDD'NHEAD WILSON

by Mark Twain




A WHISPER TO THE READER

...

Page 1

...found in any planet or even in any solar system--and given, too, in
the swell room...

Page 2

...nobility proud and ancient along
the palace-bordered canals of Venice, indicated merely the humble
barbershop along the...

Page 3

...good and commonplace people, and did
their duty, and had their reward in clear consciences and...

Page 4

...He had just made the acquaintance of a group of citizens
when an invisible dog began...

Page 5

...he had lost his first
name; Pudd'nhead took its place. In time he came to be...

Page 6

...amusement. In fact, he had found that his fads
added to his reputation as a pudd'nhead;...

Page 7

...gwine to kill you sho'. If you b'longed to
me, I'd sell you down de river...

Page 8

...child's name was Thomas a Becket Driscoll, the other's name was
Valet de Chambre: no surname--slaves...

Page 9

...It has done no good. This time I will
teach you a lesson. I will sell...

Page 10

...value; and so far
were they from considering such reprisals sinful, that they would go to
church...

Page 11

...it in after years, and be thereby moved to deeds of gentleness and
humanity himself.




CHAPTER 3...

Page 12

...her new Sunday gown--a
cheap curtain-calico thing, a conflagration of gaudy colors and fantastic
figures. She surveyed...

Page 13

...put the tow-linen shirt on him.
She put his coral necklace on her own child's neck....

Page 14

...time, long time ago. De queen she lef' her baby layin'
aroun' one day, en went...

Page 15

...he's a witch. But nemmine, I's gwine
to happen aroun' dah one o' dese days en...

Page 16

...did, because they got the
children._ --Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar


This history must...

Page 17

...about it.

What he preferred above all other things was the tongs. This was because
his "father"...

Page 18

...him sharply for "forgett'n' who his young
marster was," she at least never extended her punishment...

Page 19

...and make them hard to undo,
then dress himself and sit by and laugh while the...

Page 20

...it common in the town--"Tom
Driscoll's nigger pappy,"--to signify that he had had a second birth...

Page 21

...So her schemes always went for nothing, and she
laid them aside in impotent rage against...

Page 22

...in her is
superstitious; she thinks there's some devilry, some witch business about
my glass mystery somewhere;...

Page 23

...and paraded the town serene
and happy all day; but the young fellows set a tailor...

Page 24

...been any doubt that Dave Wilson
was a pudd'nhead--which there hadn't--this revelation removed that doubt
for good...

Page 25

...chance,
and beg leave to take the room you offer. We are twenty-four years of
age and...

Page 26

...the West had ever seen. One
was a little fairer than the other, but otherwise they...

Page 27

...have
made themselves comfortable by exhibiting us as a show, and they had many
and large offers;...

Page 28

...Luigi's side, Rowena stood
beside Angelo, and the march-past and the introductions began. The widow
was all...

Page 29

...and
understood why men in all ages had been willing to throw away meaner
happiness, treasure, life...

Page 30

...them in
public. They entered his buggy with him and were paraded down the main
street, everybody...

Page 31

...friends than he had been
when it began. He invited the twins to look in at...

Page 32

...that she was expecting him to arrive a little before
night, and added that she and...

Page 33

...be independent of
the human race thenceforth forevermore if hard work and economy could
accomplish it. When...

Page 34

...first of all. She was received
there in great form and with vast enthusiasm. Her wonderful...

Page 35

...Her remark amused Chambers.

"Yah-yah-yah! Jes listen to dat! If I's imitation, what is you? Bofe...

Page 36

...eyes with his old, ragged sleeve. Tom shouted after
him, "Send her in!"

Then he flung himself...

Page 37

...out! And be quick about it!"

Roxy backed slowly toward the door. When she was halfway...

Page 38

...has gone and found
me out somehow or other. I wonder how much she knows? Oh,...

Page 39

...to get her som'n' to eat, en you call me
names--_names_, dad blame you! Yassir, I...

Page 40

...on the sofa, and put his throbbing head in his hands,
and rested his elbows on...

Page 41

...what you is now!"

"It's a thundering lie, you miserable old blatherskite!"

"It ain't no lie, nuther....

Page 42

...walk, en tell him who you is, en _prove_
it. Does you b'lieve me when I...

Page 43

...time, en was al'ays
sayin' mean hard things to me befo' folks, en wouldn't ever let...

Page 44

...I was dead!"

He woke at dawn with one more repetition of this horror, and then...

Page 45

...The "nigger" in him went shrinking and skulking here and
there and yonder, and fancying it...

Page 46

...better than
he had ventured to hope. It produced the sum necessary to pay his gaming
debts,...

Page 47

...stepped
out of sight and resumed the other disguise, and by and by went down and
out...

Page 48

...along chattily
and sociably, and under its influence the new friendship gathered ease
and strength. Wilson got...

Page 49

...hand at it, and I may never
get a chance; and yet if I ever do...

Page 50

...to his place.

"But look here, Dave," said Tom, "you used to tell people's fortunes, too,
when...

Page 51

...have
come true; some of the minor and some of the major ones have not been
fulfilled...

Page 52

...entered upon a close survey of the palm again, and his
revelations began.

He mapped out Luigi's...

Page 53

...save a
brother's life is a great and fine action."

"Now come," said Luigi, "it is very...

Page 54

...around. A native
servant slipped into our room in the palace in the night, to kill...

Page 55

...by more respectable
motives. By his help the fire got warmed up to the blazing point,...

Page 56

...an unfortunate mistake, gentlemen. I find that the Count
Angelo Capello is opposed to our creed--is...

Page 57

...was not in the young man's nature to let the
matter pass, or to delay the...

Page 58

...washed some of them
off the roof and nearly drowned the rest. But water was preferable...

Page 59

...and they still coupled the proud and affectionate adjective "old"
with her name when they spoke...

Page 60

...a minute, turning
over in his mind the shameful picture of Tom's flight over the
footlights; then...

Page 61

...the thing stand?"

Tom answered guilelessly: "It don't stand at all; it's all over. I had
him...

Page 62

...wondering if any course of future conduct, however
discreet and carefully perfected and watched over, could...

Page 63

...with many sighs and heavy with trouble. He sorely
wanted cheerful company. Rowena! His heart gave...

Page 64

...allow any.

"Tom, I am ashamed of you! I don't see how you could treat your...

Page 65

...as sure as you are born! Have you missed anything yourself?"

"No. That is, I did...

Page 66

...make herself sure of that."

"What makes you think she's the thief?"

"Well, there ain't any other,...

Page 67

...I'll show you the thief and the
dagger both very soon afterward."

The constable was disappointed, and...

Page 68

...to think--began to think of Tom.
Twice he moved toward the secretary, and twice he turned...

Page 69

...own."

"For his dead father's sake, I couldn't, I know; for poor Percy--but you
know what Percy...

Page 70

...trouble. But now--why, now it is full of interest; yes, and
of a sort to break...

Page 71

...were so busy about. . . . Oh dear, if the
twin had only killed him,...

Page 72

...fell into a reverie. Tom did not
disturb her; he sometimes lacked prudence, but it was...

Page 73

...skip up here en glance' on de side o' de winder en whiz
right acrost my...

Page 74

...gives him de least reason, he'll
bust de will ag'in, en dat's de _las'_ time, now...

Page 75

..._Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits._
--Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

...

Page 76

...He hated the one twin for kicking him, and the other
one for being the kicker's...

Page 77

...before he could set his
retort in order Tom had turned to Wilson, and was saying,...

Page 78

...you to reveal it, but I will suppose a
case--a case which you will answer as...

Page 79

...town,
they've got it yet."

Blake said:

"It looks mighty reasonable, the way Tom puts it; it most...

Page 80

...that?"

"Count Luigi is a confessed assassin."

"Incredible."

"It's perfectly true. Wilson detected it in his hand, by...

Page 81

...of them."

"There's not a doubt of it. It will finish them."

"That and outside work among...

Page 82

...habits of the oyster. It seems almost certain that we have
...

Page 83

...enough. Laws bless you, honey, when I's slav'
aroun', en dey 'buses me, if I knows...

Page 84

...going
into slavery--slavery of any kind, mild or severe, or of any duration,
brief or long--was making...

Page 85

...you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died; but by and
...

Page 86

...bunkum, and that its owner would know where
to find it whenever he should have occasion...

Page 87

...another person
entering--doubtless another lodger; this person closed the door and
tramped upstairs behind Tom. Tom found...

Page 88

...and complaining
of the winds, and now and then a muffled sob from Roxana. The sobs...

Page 89

...left
her spirit dark; for she said to herself, "He sole me down de river--he
can't feel...

Page 90

...en on'y de work mules to ride dah on, en on'y niggers
ride 'em, en DEY...

Page 91

...de outside,' I says
to myself. 'I reckon I knows dat music!' I hear de gong...

Page 92

...knowing the risk she would run of getting me into
irremediable trouble. And after all, here...

Page 93

...When I seed dat man I 'uz dat sk'yerd dat I could sca'cely wobble
home. Den...

Page 94

...gaze awhile, then she said:

"What could you do? You could be Judas to yo' own...

Page 95

...you's
gwine away to git de res' o' de money, en dat you'll be back wid...

Page 96

...course, he would be ready. Wilson tried to convince him
that if he had been present...

Page 97

...treasure
denied them by Nature, a child. But this is a digression. The unwritten
law of this...

Page 98

...beyond measure. His uncle
was asleep on the sofa; on a small table at the head...

Page 99

...palsy, passed out at the gate, three women came
flying from the house on the opposite...

Page 100

...planter, and
mailed to Wilson the new bill of sale which sold Roxana to herself; then
he...

Page 101

...as hired
assassin."

But who could it be? That, he must try to find out. The safe...

Page 102

...Tom with the murder.

Wilson regarded the case of the twins as desperate--in fact, about
hopeless. For...

Page 103

...Chuckles

_Even the clearest and most perfect circumstantial evidence
...

Page 104

...shouldn't ever sleep
satisfied till she saw them hanged for it. She was here to watch...

Page 105

...added
significantly, that he would be ready for him elsewhere. Presumably
the person here charged with murder...

Page 106

...interest, and everybody seemed to have had a satisfactory
and enjoyable day except the accused, their...

Page 107

...He made up his mind that it would be good entertainment to look
in on Wilson...

Page 108

...and he
gazed at the polished surface before him with the glassy stare of a
corpse.

"Great heavens,...

Page 109

...carelessly in my
life. There is a most extraordinary mystery here."

He was tired out now, and...

Page 110

...to time in bygone
years.

The night was spent and the day well advanced now. By the...

Page 111

...propose to establish by evidence, and
shall include that one in the chain in its proper...

Page 112

...offered secretly
and not advertised; that this fact was indiscreetly mentioned--or at
least tacitly admitted--in what was...

Page 113

...said:

"I beg the indulgence of the court while I make a few remarks in
explanation of...

Page 114

...Yet there was never a twin born in to this world that did not
carry from...

Page 115

...room, white or black, whose natal
signature I cannot produce, and not one of them can...

Page 116

...two
children--thrown up to ten times the natural size by the pantograph, so
that anyone who can...

Page 117

...more, Wilson said gravely,
indicating the twins with a gesture:

"These men are innocent--I have no further...

Page 118

...Negro and
slave--falsely called Thomas a Becket Driscoll--make upon the window the
fingerprints that will hang you!"

Tom...

Page 119

...his
gestures, his bearing, his laugh--all were vulgar and uncouth; his
manners were the manners of a...

Page 120

...with interesting
results. So he goes to work. To write a novel? No--that is a thought
which...

Page 121

...our
cities--a combination consisting of two heads and four arms joined to a
single body and a...

Page 122

...deep injustice of hers torturing
her poor torn heart.

I didn't know what to do with her....

Page 123

...while and then suddenly played out utterly and
fell down the well. There was a radical...